Drunk online shopping for England | Jabbering Journo column

Do you drunk online shop?
Do you drunk online shop?

Every fibre of my being wanted it.

How did I even get to this great age with realising the purchase of a piece of moon rock would transform my life and solve all my problems?

Click. (Hiccup)

We have pretty much all done it.

Enjoyed a few wines and then got trigger happy with the internet shopping and just bought whatever we feel like.

It’s horrifyingly easy if you have your credit card linked up.

And most of us are at it.

A new study out this week (personal finance website Fortune) shows women are slightly more likely to drunk shop - though women shop more than men, especially online anyway.

But men spend more, bolstered my colleague’s anecdote - he just chirped up that his ‘friend’ got drunk and woke up on Monday morning to the sound of a knock on the door and a delivery driver bearing bagpipes.

Men are often more dramatic drunken shoppers, needless to say.

But the figures are staggering.

Four in five of us who drink alcohol have fallen foul of cloudy-minded clicking - most of it late at night.

No need to explain that is providing an enormous windfall for the retail industry online.

And I’m not even slightly surprised that Amazon (often linked to a handy Paypal account) gets the lion’s share of this new niche of industry - the survey shows it could be taking as high as 85 per cent of drunken trade, with eBay its next rival - then clothing retailers.

A vast amount is spent on shoes, clothing and accessories as the rose-tinted spectacle drunken vibe sets in. But indoor bouncy castles and night vision giggles are the list too - either we are all regressing to childhood or fancy ourselves as James Bond.

I’m wondering if what we buy says more about our inner demons, desires and insecurities as we are more honest when we drink?

I’m not sure what bagpipes represent - possibly the ‘friend’ has just been drinking whisky.

But night vision googles are definitely worrying - we’ve all seen The Silence of the Lambs.

If evidence was ever needed that drinking is bad for you this is it.

Teetotallers are on to a financial winner - just no indoor bouncing for them.

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